27 Weeks (and the past two weeks)

We had a wedding last weekend – It was fun to see friends from school and look nice for a change. I’ve been feeling a bit blah and lacking in motivation. I’m so tired lately I’ve been worried about twins and a toddler BUT I keep trying to tell myself that when they get here I wont be growing two humans and waddling around anymore.

Ava’s pregnancy at 27 weeks

Here are some pics from the last few weeks!

 

Pregnancy: #2 – TWINS

Gender: boy/boy fraternal

Weight gain: I was 29 lbs up after my appointment last week – not exactly where I wanted to be but not horrible either. The doctor wasn’t even remotely concerned with my weight gain

Eating: Great! (knock on wood) no heartburn lately. I like to eat small meals/snacks all day long. But I choose healthy snacks. I try to keep all the candy, ice cream and treats out of the house. But somehow donuts keep ending up on my desk randomly……

Sleep: ok – I sleep well until early to late morning (1:30am-4am) I am up at 5:30 so if I can sleep until 4 it’s not too bad. Sometimes I just need to get up and move, a trip to the bathroom usually does it.

Symptoms and Movement:

Movements: So much movement, even more than two weeks ago. I feel kicking everywhere!!!

Varicose veins – no update, just worse – every part of my lower half hurts

Bump– Getting bigger, I think I look like I’m 36-37 weeks pregnant with one. I feel like I’m in the home stretch, but I know I still have (hopefully) 10-11 weeks left

Emotions: Emotions are everywhere. My husband made a comment that he has seen me cry more times this pregnancy than our entire 8 years together. The person he told (my old boss who is like a mom to me) says in her 25 years of knowing me she doesn’t need one hand to count how many times she’s seen me cry…. so I guess I’m more emotional than I thought. I feel like I am crying out of frustration, I hate that I cannot do things or keep up with my toddler. So I feel guilty and bad.

Missing: being able to move like normal, not being winded

Purchases: Nothing – was hoping somebody would throw a sprinkle for me (is that selfish?? lol) well this is my place to be honest, it would be nice to have had a sprinkle, but I didn’t (and don’t) expect one. a few people have asked and said, “oh but you’re having twins and boys, you can do a sprinkle” but I’m not about to throw one for myself so I’m gong to start to buy more little by little as we get closer.

Looking forward to: Ultrasound growth check tomorrow. I forgot to make this appointment so I had to go to a private place. The first one couldn’t get me in for another week and a half (ahhh) I can’t wait that long. So I called a second place and got in tomorrow 🙂

Can’t wait for mother’s day tea tomorrow at school!

Best moment of the week: Not sure, it’s been so meh at work

Clothes: Bought some light weight yoga capri pants for spring, then Motherhood had a sale so I bought some nursing tanks and khaki capri pants. Lots of stuff is starting to get tight

Exercise: thinking of lowering my goal to 5,000 steps…. lol

25.5 weeks – Twin Boys and thinking about what should/could have been 

 Tomorrow marks what would have been our due date from our first pregnancy, May 1st. May would have also been our due date for our chemical pregnancy last august. I’d be giving birth soon rather than waddling around for 3 more months. May is a month of sadness and deep thoughts for me, a lot of what ifs and what could have been’s. 

our first pregnancy was our first fresh ivf cycle. Two embryos in, one stuck with very very high betas (nurse even mentioned twins). Ultrasound showed 1 strong heartbeat (3 ultrasounds). But when we were released to OB and after I had my first appointment at 10 weeks, 3 weeks later I went to the ER with bleeding and bad cramping. My body was getting ready to delivery. Our miracle baby hadn’t made it.  At the ER our baby was only measuring 9 weeks (the heart must have stopped days after our last ultrasound). I’ve never seen my husband cry the way he did that night in the ER. I opted to have a d&c right then and there with no pain meds (little did I know that they usually knock you out for those). I couldn’t imagine going home still “pregnant”. We left the ER that night 6 hours later minus our baby. I took a few days off and resumed life (I had a friend tell people so I didn’t have to). I tried to forget by jumping back into treatments as soon as we could. 

Our chemical last august was a bit of a long shot. We had slow rising betas anyway, I had little hope although the doctor kept hoping with each draw. But at 6 weeks my body said goodbye to our third little baby. 

I can play the what if game all I want but I know God has a plan for me. Ava would not be here and I wouldn’t be pregnant with my little boys right now if those pregnancies lasted. There is a reason for all things, even if I cannot fathom what it is. God has a plan for me, my daughter and my boys. I will forever be a mommy to 5 babies that implanted and grew. God willing 3 living breathing babies and 2 angel babies. 


Twins update : 

 

24 Weeks Pregnant with Ava

Pregnancy: #2 – TWINS

Gender: boy/boy fraternal

Weight gain: I’m surely over 25lbs but we’ll see at the end of the week when I go to the OB. I think I was up to 21 lbs two weeks ago

Eating: Still eating very well. Craving sweet things, like the yogurt covered craisins my daughter brings to school. Or the chocolate oreo ice cream I ate tonight on our first ice cream trip to Eskimo King of the summer. I fill up quickly, so I don’t seem to eat too much. Very thirsty lately… well the whole pregnancy I have been, but even more so lately.

Sleep: ok – ugh when will it get better?! Some nights are ok, some are terrible. Haven’t had a really good one in a while. Our rooms upstairs are very hot (its almost like an attic type heat, so with the last few days of very warm weather our room has been very hot, making it difficult to sleep even when I wear next to nothing. It’s supposed to be cooler this week so hoping it gets better (OR AC will be turned on this week).

Symptoms and Movement:

Movements: So much movement, I can catch them bumping out of the corner of my eye sometimes. I like to feel their presence. So far no movements are painful, although one of them was kicking my ribs this morning an THAT felt weird.

Vulvar varicose veins – no update, just worse

Bump– It’s getting heavy. I had a few days that the weight of my bump has interfered with working and I’ve put strain on it (hurting my muscles on the sides and causing cramping. SO, I ordered a maternity support belt (how many support contraptions can a pregnant woman wear?!?!) Its not my favorite, and it sucks to sit with it on, but it does help when standing. I’ll probably bring it to work and only wear it if I need to.

Emotions: Patience is wearing as I get uncomfortable, but overall I’m doing good. I tend to get weepy when I’m alone with Ava and I can’t seem to keep up with her or get things done. I’m a go go go kind of person, and I hate that I cannot complete simple tasks because I have a 20lb bump on board, stupid veins, someone pushing on my lungs and a 2 year old. Hubby called to see if I was okay on Sat as we were trying to get ready for a birthday party, it took all my strength to not cry and say we were fine.

Missing: being able to move like normal

Purchases: some organizing things for the babies room – trying to slowly get things in order. Slowly purchasing things off my registry, I don’t think anyone is going to through me a sprinkle so I’m just trying to figure out what we need ASAP and what can wait.

Looking forward to: OB appointment this week and starting 2 week appointments from this point on. And an ultrasound on the 19th. I booked out newborn photographer 🙂 very excited, she did Ava’s newborn and 1st birthday. She did great! She is very excited to do some more 🙂

Best moment of the week: Spending time with Ava. She has been so good and happy lately. We are still struggling with clothes (she only want to wear specific ones) I had to tell her everyone wears dresses to birthday parties to get her to put one on on Saturday lol Most of the time I don’t care, but I want her to wear some clothes that my mom has bought her.

My Mom also came over and helped me organize and do some things around the house that I just can’t get done alone. She cleaned out the front garden and prepped it for mulching. Hubby and I did the mulching today. She put Ava to bed to give me a break. But the best was all the organizing we did. I have all of the boy clothes (whether bought, handme downs, consigned) organized by size, NB, 0-3, 3 month and everything bigger. I put clothes in the dresser and organized the hates, booties and socks. I hung the sweatshirts and outfit type things. I was also able to organize the stash of cloth diapers I have built. I ordered some closet organizers to help with the rest of the “stuff” The hardest part is the giant queen sized bed in the bedroom that I am impatiently waiting to be picked up by a friend. She says she can get it in June. In all honesty she’s doing me a favor so I don’t have to try and sell it or pay to throw it away. But I’m impatient! We haven’t set up the second crib yet, they won’t even be in the crib for a couple of months probably and I might stick them together at first anyways, so no real need for BOTH cribs just yet.

Clothes: A local mom from my moms group gave me a few bags of clothes, which has been very helpful in adding to my work clothes. I’ll need some summer stuff soon but these things will get my by for now. I bought some compression sweats from Old Navy, I wore them today and they seemed to help a bit (probably not as much as compression tights would, but those can’t be comfortable.

Exercise: Very rarely hitting that 6,000 step goal – but still trying to move a lot as it helps with the veins.

Infertility: one in eight 


Today marks infertility awareness week. It has hit me twice this week that I am not alone on this difficult journey. 

My friend from high school has been struggling for almost two years now. As she made her first appointment at the clinic last summer, she got pregnant but lost the baby at 7 or 8 weeks (one week after my chemical pregnancy). She tried clomid for several months and had two complete failed iui’s where the clinic missed her surge. She had her first real iui last month (with trigger to catch surge) and it failed. Tomorrow she goes in for another iui. I can only imagine the depth of heartache and stress she is under for yet another round. 

Another friend from work is on a year and a half of secondary infertility. She had her daughter by whoops on their honeymoon, but baby number 2 had taken almost a year and a half. She goes this week for blood work and her hsg ultrasound. 

They say 1 in 8 but I can’t help but feel that this statistic is low. How do so many of us struggle for various and unknown reasons? My sisterinlaw and brother, my close friends cousin, hubbys close friend, a former co-worker, the family we will nanny share with! And sadly, we do not talk about it much. I’m now able to talk about my experience and openly share it when someone asks. But I chose not to bring it up because I know my husband doesn’t want me to. 

 There’s a lot of why’s and when’s and what ifs that run through my brain. My biggest fear was, “will I ever be a mommy?” The best I can do is support those around me and raise awareness in my own way! Say a prayer for those in need and for those I don’t know are in need. Say I love you, say I support you, give them a hug or kiss. 

24 weeks : Glucose test… tick tock 

I’m sitting at the lab right now watching the clock tick tock down to the one hour count (how the hell do people do this for 3 hours) god I hope I pass. 

31 minutes left… tick tock 

Yesterday marked 24 weeks of pregnancy, first big milestone, viability!! Not that I’m ready for these noodles to come out yet but it’s nice to know there is a high probability of survival if they come early now. I had my growth ultrasound on Tuesday. Things looked great. One measured 1 lb 8 ounces and the other 1lb 10oz. My cervix looked great and no concerns for early labor. 
I went in early so I could speak with a nurse or doctor about my legs but of course no doctors on that day (or nurses). I go to a small satellite office not the main one. But the front desk lady was very nice and called the nurses for me. After my ultrasound I spoke to a nurse on the phone. They got me an ultrasound for my leg that day. They wanted to rule out blood clots. 

25 minutes…. tick tock 

The tech was surprised at how bad my leg looked. They were puffy and swollen and badly bruised. But all is clear and no clots. Frustratingly I missed the call from the nurse (the following day) and all she said was “there were no clots call us if you have questions” thanks for all the added information lady. I haven’t called back yet, im assuming nothing can be done anyway based on what I’ve read online. 

I go to see the doctor in 2 weeks anyway, until then I’ll manage with movement, elevating my leg and cold compress. 

20 minutes… tick tock 

I’m excited to start up with biweekly appointments rather than monthly. Although between ultrasounds and doctors I do seem to go somewhere biweekly. It’s been nice to not have to use a ton of sick time too. Only used 1/2 personal for my level 2 ultrasound. 

8 minutes…tick tock… I might puke…. 

and I’m done……. that was rough….. 

23 weeks + 3 days – veins veins and more veins!  

I’m not going to go through my whole spiel this week, not a whole lot has changed. Except my veins on my legs. I was changing for the umpteenth time and noticed massive bruises on my leg and odd ones behind my knees. I noticed the veins getting worse at the beginning of the week but they aren’t new to me, I had dark ones with Ava. But this was NEW, massive dark spots surrounding the veins. I know they are hereditary and my dads family has horrible veins on their legs (they are also all obese) I was hoping to avoid getting them this bad. I consulted Dr. Google and they are pretty normal. Plus after coming home from our Easter celebration I laid down and the bruises started to lighten. Sigh one more symptom to deal with.

Ava’s pregnancy at 23 weeks
On a lighter note, we have a csection date! If they decide to stay in long term we will be welcoming these boys on July 31 – 38 weeks and 4 days at noon. Still over 3 months to go but whatever is best for the babies I’m happy with.

Easter with Ava 

It was almost 80 degrees today!!!! We have a big family celebration on Easter 🐣 with a huge egg hunt, hay ride and Easter bunny. Ava had so much fun!


22.5 Weeks

 

Well, this has been difficult to keep up with pictures this time around. Not that I can’t find the time to write a post, but getting hubby around to take a picture (while I look somewhat presentable) without Ava hanging on me has been tough. So I GAVE UP! I took it myself in the mirror lol

Since my last post everything came out great on the ultrasound for the heart echo. The doctor came in when the tech was done and said they couldn’t be more perfect! My cervix is looking great with something close to 4 (I can’t remember for the life of me, it was 3.?) I’m hoping my cervix stays nice and long for the long haul. I don’t have enough sick days to go on bed rest for extended time. If anything I’d like the take the last few days of the school year off as needed.

Ava at 22 weeks

Pregnancy: #2 – TWINS

Gender: boy/boy fraternal

Weight gain: 21 pounds as of Friday – doing pretty well, just have to keep this rate up through to the end.

Eating: Watching what a eat a bit more. Seltzer seems to aggravate my heartburn (or peppers…can’t seem to figure out which one it is). But it hurts so much I don’t want to test which one it was.

Sleep: Sleeping GREAT! Hard to roll over but once over I do great… only roll a few times a night. Not getting up to pee at all!

Symptoms and Movement: 

Movements: Still feeling strong kicks under the belly and a few on the top left and right. I’m feeling them throughout the day and LOVING it! Someone is kicking my cervix or pubic area, it feels soo weird to be kicked there. Can they break out with too much kicking?!

Vulvar varicose veins – oddly, I don’t know if I’m getting used to them or the weight is shifting to my belly rather than over my cervix. I mean, don’t get me wrong, they are THERE but not as brutal.

Bump– um, its big…and only getting bigger. AND I’m only 22 weeks. I think I’m looking like I’m 30 weeks (compared to Ava’s pregnancy).

Emotions: Don’t sweat the small stuff, don’t sweat the small stuff, don’t sweat the small stuff. I keep having to tell myself that almost daily. Like when hubby lost my keys (2 days later I found them, in MY jacket pocket) oops!

Missing: Not being able to pick up and hold Ava. The belly is definitely getting in the way.

Purchases: Went to a consignment sale this weekend (HUGE) like fill a field house huge. On the last day many things are on sale for 50% off – so I scored big time with some awesome purchases (mostly for Ava, but I grabbed a few other things like a shopping cart cover that wasn’t bright prink, and a few swaddles, some cloth diapers and a couple of sweatshirts).

Looking forward to: ultrasound on Tuesday of next week!! – not looking forward to hubby leaving for 3 days on his annual baseball trip. At least he’s going early this time and only staying for 3 days.

Best moment of the week: Not sure, I feel like time is dragging a bit – maybe because I don’t want to be at work. Feeling them move more… 🙂 that’s always great!

Clothes: XS and S pants are still fitting but some of my XS shirts from Ava’s pregnancy are just not big enough to allow room for the bigger belly. I have had a few friends pass along their maternity wear to me, which is nice but then I end up with so much stuff (half of which doesn’t fit) lol

Exercise: Actually hitting my 6,000 steps a day more frequently – close to 5 days a week. Mostly during the week, weekends I don’t walk as much.

20 Weeks and feeling pretty good

I’ve had a pretty good week considering how awful and uncomfortable I have felt this pregnancy. I have energy, I’m motivated to get things done and my body is feeling pretty good. Hoping this feeling will last!

Ava’s pregnancy at 20 weeks!
Pregnancy: #2 – TWINS

Gender: boy/boy fraternal

Weight gain: 15 lbs as of two Friday’s ago at my appointment –

Eating: Snacks usually consist of a homemade trail mix, this usually satisfies my sweet tooth with a bit of chocolate in there. We don’t keep many “snacks” in the house, which is  a good thing. I’d be eating all of it!

Sleep: Great week of sleep (I had one bad night) but otherwise I am sleeping soundly, not getting up to pee, not waking up wide awake and unable to fall back asleep.

Symptoms and Movement:

Movements: feeling more movements in the lower regions but felt some up higher this week as well. The higher ones were fleeting, I had to do a double take, “were those actually kicks?”

Vulvar varicose veins – Same to slightly better. Movement is key, getting my body and blood moving. If I sit too long I feel it, if I stand too long, I feel it. So I need to make sure I evenly spread out my standing, sitting and walking.

Bump– It cannot be hidden any longer!

Emotions: in a pretty good mood all week – Monday sucked. By 7am I had forgotten Ava’s breakfast at home, spilled water all over hubbys car because i didn’t tighten the lid, was late for work and all of this was the morning after I broke my phone (the one I just paid off!) I wanted to just go home. My broken phone has had me worked up this week, but otherwise I’ve been good!  

Missing: moving at a normal speed 

Purchases: hmm starting selling some of Ava’s stuff on eBay (😩no more girl things). So I bought some things on eBay with the money I made. Bought some cloth diapers and put some bids on new pottery barn sheets. A coworkers daughter just had twins so she brought in two boxes of clothes (nb – 3 mo) all in beautiful condition, so I’m buying those off of her for a great price. Unfortunately I won’t be getting a shower/sprinkle so I’m trying to pick items up here and there that we’ll need. Clothing 2 boys will be daunting! 

Looking forward to: next ultrasound on Tuesday. It’s our heart echo. 

Best moment of the week:when my students find out, it’s funny to see their reactions. Actually I love screwing with them. When they ask if I’m pregnant I respond, ” why so I look fat?!nhage a Gaines weight?!” And then I refuse to confirm or deny it and say I don’t know. When they approach hubby he says, “omg Ms. G’s pregnant?! I had no idea.” Love screwin with them ! 

Clothes: uh some of my maternity shorts are too small 😩

Exercise: not much